Lost.

Mid-life crisis when you're 20? Is that even possible?

I've been so depressed for 2 weeks now. If you're a follower on twitter or a friend on facebook, you'll notice how down I am for two weeks now. I can't even explain why!

Last week, I was on leave for two days. I didn't feel like working my a** off so I've decided to file a leave and sleep all day. I was sick, yes, but I cannot explain the feeling!!

When I analyze the happenings, maybe it is because my partner is thinking of submitting her resignation letter (which I planned to do) and maybe because my sister-in-law (my boyfriend's sister) rejected the offer to be the replacement of my partner. I was depressed for a reason that we (the sis-in-law and I) planned already that she will transfer in our department once my partner resigned, but when her boss asked her, she refused to transfer! How sad can that be, yea? :(

I was.. No, I am still.. I am so lost with what is happening in my life now! Almost all of my friends started Law school already, and here I am bumming myself in the office, which btw is not what I planned!! gadaaamiiit I dont know what I want!

I broke up with the boyfriend for a day (actually I broke up with him and got back after a day when I realized that I cannot even end a day without talking to him.) GREAT! haaaay.

I read my everyday devotion and get answers from the Lord, everytime, but failed to digest everything!! :( I am now a suicidal person, seriously!!!


My boyfriend keeps on reminding me how lucky I am to be given a wonderful life, so better use it to serve the Lord and reject any negativities! He's right, absolutely!


Yesterday, after attending my cousin's wedding, I thought I'm healed. gaaah! I sms-ed the boyfriend and talked to him about the dilemma I had with work and I was thinking I'll be fine after I told him the story!! geez. I cried a river after! :(


I dont know what to do anymore. I cannot find my happiness!! :( Is it because the MIS department blocked blogspot in the office? hahaha. grabe!!


Now, I haven't texted the boyfriend, but he's no texting asking why I haven't sent him any updates! :( I don't know what to say to him. basta! I'm lost!!


I need a serious help!!! :|